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Her self concious speak here
 " Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. " I see who stalk me,So behave !
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Reasons for my insecurities}
13 August 2012 | 4:18 AM | 0Comment 
Holla people.
I've been rarely looking up through things here. Despite nothing is cool anymore in here, and i don't have stalkers to mess with anymore. And most of all blogger is not interesting as tumblr. Alhamdulilah, i'm pretty wealth with health right now. Cheers to the blissful Ramadhan, and its a week away to Eid Mubarak already. I'm going to miss Ramadhan so much afterward.
Recently, I can't avoid seeing mirrors everyday. I've been hating my self for a long term now. I hate that i'm not perfect like any other girls. I know, i'm suppose to be very thankful to Allah, for giving me such a beautiful structures of eyes, nose, ears. No imperfection. But, somedays i just felt insecure on how some people have such magnificent beauty. How they don't have any pimples or rarely have pimples, how flawless their hair and so thick, no matter what angles their photo look perfect instead of awkward like mine. I'm a fucking liar to all of you, for saying " everybody's perfect in their own way " yes, it's true. but I don't believe it. I just make some of you believing it in, so you don't felt the sickness of this insecurities. Maybe some homesapiens hippotamus, keep saying these to make me feel better " you're beautiful, you're skinny and perfect, not like me " I can't except it. I just can't. I don't know if i can trust these words and say I'M BEAUTIFUL. This is what i called insecure, god has made me perfect, without any birth defect. Sometimes, society just knocked you down. That skinny girl in the magazine, that hottie with a gazillion likes on facebook. I'm not jealous of them, just sometime.. sometime i wanna be them. How would it feel to smile in front of a camera with just one shot and slightly just upload them on facebook without any doubt that no one would call you " UGLY ". So, I'm not going to stuck here. Just babbling around and waiting for a fairy god mother with a wand and poof everything is beautiful. I know beautiful is subjective, but that shit lines.. i don't trust em. This is what i'm going to start for the rest of the year. I called it Project Being Beautiful. That doesn't make sense, I know. What i'm going to do is : try as hard as i can to fades these ugliness out of me. I know how insane does this sound, but i'm going to work hard. Effing hard. Here are my imperfection : 1) Dark skin 2) Thin hair 3) Eye's dark circles and wrinkles 4) lil pimples or whiteheads 5) Scars on face on body 6) Fat legs and arms 7) Fatty tummy 8) Weight over 40kg 9) Height less than 170 I think that's just it. Hope so. I know, how silly this shit is. Why I shouldn't be thankful to Allah ? Yes, I am very grateful to him. What I want to do right now, just to fix things back just the way he gave it to me. Most of all, I ain't doing this for popularity, nor wanting men all over the world to love me. Just the confidence to actually like myself and feel awesome. That's all. Maybe some of you, will say this is stupid. Girls like me, do exist as a matter a fact. A lot of us, all over the world. I'm not trying to be perfect, just full of confidence instead of blaming my self " i'm a piece of shit " while god made me beautifully. " life is too short to spend hoping that that the perfectly arched eyebrow or hottest new lip shade will mask an ugly heart " - Kenvy AucoinI'll be keeping this in my mind. and Insyallah, one day. This insecurities will be finally over, just the way I wanted. Happy Eid Mubarak to every muslim in the world. Any mistakes from this blog or words that keeping you down, please forgive me. I'll be rarely updating this, like usual. Till the very end, Assalamualaikum ♥  |
